Saturday, August 23, 2008
Let’s see what dating or courtship meant in different times.
Colonial times to 1830
In old times marriage was encouraged and bachelors and singleness was seen as a sign of laziness. Love was something that developed after the marriage, as a natural outcome of the commitment to marriage.
Sexual passion was not expressed freely and premarital pregnancy was considered a sign of weakness.
1830 – 1880
During the 19th century the concept of separate spheres of men and women started taking shape. Puberty was the stage where girls entered the “female world” and boys entered the “male world”.
Courtship became more formalized and love was considered the only basis of marriage. Love was not only limited to elements of passion, but also communion, sympathy and openness. This gave women assurance of a long-term commitment.
Man’s readiness for marriage was judged by his ability to provide a new home for his wife.
1880 – 1920
The view of men in this era degenerated and their morality became a major social issue. Courtship became more formal and a young man and woman had to be formally introduced before speaking to each other. Most courting activities took place in the girl’s home.
After engagement, the couple could spend time together however chastity was still valued.
Sexual expression in courtship began to increase at this time.However, a virtuous woman still only had sex with the man with whom she was about to marry.
1920 – 1945
By 1920, dating was becoming the centerpiece of courtship in American. Creation of the “adolescent stage” resulted in the rise of the dating culture.
Dating added a new thing to the courtship system – Money. Instead of spending time at home, dating was going out. Dating also shifted the power from the women to men; as when dating was centered at home, women had the power.
Dancing and movies were the popular dating activities. The invention of the automobile allowed couples with great deal of privacy and intimacy. This period represented an era of social and sexual revolution.
Premarital sex was the rise and Virginity was no longer a requirement however was still desirable.
1945 – 1960
First marriage dropped drastically and the number of marriages increased. More serious dating would occur in high school and ‘going steady’ became popular.
Early marriage was seen as a moral way to deal with youth sexuality.
Love was still the primary basis of marriage. The vision of a perfect relationship was to avoid conflict and lots of togetherness.
1960 – till present
Not contended with the restricted role of wife and mother led many women to question the role of marriage. Many explored school and career over marriage.
The creation of the term “generation gap” led young people to define themselves different from their parents, which in turn led to a more liberal view of sexuality.
By this time 80% of male and 65% of female college freshman confessed sexual experience. Commitment was not seen any more as a requirement of sex.
Dating became a greater opportunity for informal sexual interaction. It was acceptable for women to initiate dating relationship and share a portion of the cost.
Cohabitation was on the rise as studies showed that 40%-50% of all young people will live together at some point before 30.
In the last decade there has been a shift to a more conservative system of courtship. Sexually transmitted diseases have caused renewed interest in monogamous sexual relationship. 1980 saw a resurgence in proms and traditional style weddings.
Do you think we should return to a more conservative approach of finding a life partner?
Reference - Courtship by Rodney M. Cate and Sally A. Lloyd
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